Out of A&E (just about...)

My golf swing is out of A&E, following Sunday’s tribulations. At least, I think it is.

Amazing what a little wind, rain and one of the slowest four-balls ever to play the game can do to you. Well, a lot of rain, actually. And make that the slowest four-ball in history.

Are these excuses for my ghastly performance in the club monthly medal? Well, yes, I admit it, they are. My golf swing, to be honest, imploded from the very first tee. Somehow I forgot all I had been working on during the past few months and went out and played with my old swing.

Which can be okay, in a nasty, left-to-right sort of way. It’s just not how I want to play golf, that’s all. So there I am, grumpy, wet through after six holes and with water sloshing around inside my shoes, and we’re going at a snail’s pace. The only consolation was that, by the 9^th hole, I had at last worked out where I was going wrong. By then I could barely hold my eel-like clubs, of course, but better late than never. At least I managed a few real golf shots and a few pars on the way in. Not on the last three holes, though – they had turned into lakes.

My score at the end? Would you mind if I don’t publicise that? It’s not so much the shame – everybody struggled, to be frank, with the winner – the winner! -playing to four over his handicap – but the memory. I’m trying to erase it.

Today, at the range, my swing seemed pretty much back to where I want it to be. Physically, I’ve been released from A&E. Mentally? That may take a while longer.

That 1st tee thing, that single handicap thing...

I’ve never suffered from 1^st tee nerves. It’s just not something I do.

Perhaps it’s because the opening tee shot at my local course is not that daunting. Sure, a push can mean the nastier of two fairway bunkers, and a slice can mean the trees and no clear second to the green. But it’s pretty straightforward, as first holes go, if a tad long for me in the winter.

Will this Sunday be different, though? A medal round, and me not having played since early December? Perhaps I should have squeezed in a warm-up round. Particularly because 2012 is the year, according to my Great Golf Plan, when I finally dip under 10 for the first time. There just hasn’t been time, though.

I do, however, have an advantage over other would-be golfers with too little time to live up to their limitless ambition. For the past six months, while you were stuck in an office or on a job site, I was helping write a golf instruction book.

‘Golf’s Golden Rule’, a product of the minds of Dave Wilkinson and Steve Gould at Knightsbridge Golf School, comes out in a few months. Will it transform readers’ games? I don’t know. That may be up to them. All I know is that, in writing down their thoughts, I’ve learnt things that golf magazines and, in many cases, golf lessons never got close to teaching me.

Knowing is one thing, though. Applying is quite another. I think I've changed the pattern of my swing since last playing, from a low cut to the right to a high draw - but have I really?

The book finally got signed off a couple of days ago.

So, six months after starting it, and almost three months after last playing – although there have been countless range sessions – I’ll step out on Sunday better informed than ever before. Better informed, but far from match-sharp.

It should be interesting. I just hope it’s not embarrassing. Oops - is this what 1^st tee nerves feel like?